Mariano Rivera sets a fine example for all

There is little doubt that, in the world of professional baseball, Mariano Rivera of the New York Yankees has been one of the “class acts” in the sport since he arrived on the scene in time for the 1996 major-league season.

He has helped the Yankees win a number of championships since that time, and in the process, has become one of the finest (arguably the best) “closers” of all-time.

After an early-season knee injury a year ago caused him to miss virtually the entire 2012 season, he was determined to return for one last year in Yankee pinstripes.  And he is indeed back.

But beyond his remarkable recovery from a serious injury as an athlete in his 40’s (he is now 43), the Panama-born pitcher has made a point of doing his “farewell tour” differently than most.  Rather than focusing on himself, in his final visit to play the teams the Yankees have competed against all these years, Rivera has asked, in every city he visits, to meet and spend time with employees from those organizations.  He wants to express his personal ‘thank you’ to those who make the game possible, and who, indirectly (perhaps directly, by their good work) have assisted him in becoming what he is.

Here is a link to one of the many articles (via Sports Illustrated) that have appeared about Rivera’s outlook.  He has sought out office staff, grounds crew employees, fans—any and all individuals who contribute behind the scenes to their organizations and the game of baseball, but do so usually without attention or thanks.

It is an unusual way to say “goodbye” to the game that has made him famous—and wealthy.  But it says something about Rivera that he has made a point of thanking others on his way out the door—shaking hands, posing for pictures, signing autographs but most importantly, just talking privately, one-on-one.  And he is spending time primarily with those who are never in the limelight themselves, but without whom the game would not function as smoothly as it does.

Rivera will be remembered as a Hall-of-Famer, an all-time Yankee—and baseball—great.

For those he will connect in this unique manner throughout the rest of the 2013 season, he may be remembered a bit differently.  But the memories will likely be no less special.

Athletes may not always be considered positive role-models any more, and understandably so, but for young athletes looking for someone to emulate—in terms of attitude, behavior, work ethic and humility—Rivera might be a good place to start.

Lance Armstrong: a “mistake” or 15 years of lies, bullying and manipulation?

Lance Armstrong has become one of those polarizing sports figures in modern America.  He has been seen for years—and in many ways, correctly so—as a courageous cancer-fighter, a world champion, a kind of sports “warrior”.

But now, we also come to find out what many have suspected (or actually knew) for a long time: that is, that Armstrong’s “victories” were in fact fuelled by performance-enhancing drugs.  For many amateur and professional athletes over the past thirty years or more, success fueled (at least in part) by drugs has not been infrequent, unfortunately.

But more than cheating, which is not uncommon, we have also seen Armstrong’s bold and repeated denials about drug use. And we have witnessed his finger-pointing (at his accusers) along the way, as investigators and the media began to uncover a behind-the-scenes (and often public) form of incessant bullying, as he and his “team” evidently tried—ultimately in vain—to silence those who knew too much about his activities.

That he is now “telling his story” (Oprah) and reportedly admitting to his persistent lies will lead many to immediately forgive him.  But the question remains:  is there not a difference between a major but still isolated, one-time “mistake” that any of us might make and should own up to, versus a repeated litany of lies and a massive cover-up?

When you are seen as a modern-day hero, and you not only accept the attendant fame and unreserved adulation but also take advantage of it to make millions—and not just for “charity” but for yourself—is that the kind of thing that those who believed in this individual should just accept, now that an admission of sorts has (finally) been forthcoming?

Clearly, we can only surmise that, had Armstrong never been ‘found out’, he would have continued to accept the baubles of fame and, when necessary, also continued to maintain his supposed innocence forever.  We might also assume that he would have continued to successfully bully and try to silence those who wanted to speak the truth.

Is that ever, really, forgivable?

It’s a question many who admired and supported Armstrong—and the “values” he claimed to live by and promote—must be asking themselves.

Maybe more importantly, what do young, aspiring athletes learn from this fiasco? Is there much to be gained from lying?  Is it enough to finally offer up an apology this late in the “game” after years of deception?  Are performance-enhancing drugs worth it?

Hopefully, young athletes, coaches and parents can stand back and see that the web that was weaved by Armstrong and his “protectors” was flawed, that while he was a tremendous athlete, a fine competitor, he was, in the end, not a positive role model.  Hopefully they will see the good that he did, but also recognize that he hid behind deception—and bullied his way to a hallowed and in many ways undeserved image.

Hazing in sports just another form of bullying, and it has to stop

The recent hazing controversy involving Dalhousie (located in Nova Scotia, Canada) University women’s hockey team reminds us there is a long way to go before the issues of bullying are behind us.  “Hazing” is merely another form of bullying.  That it occurs in the often protected and "hush hush" world of sports makes it no more acceptable than any other kind of bullying.

The women’s hockey program at Dalhousie has been suspended.  News reports (including in the Globe and Mail) quoting university spokespersons suggest it was a very serious matter.  The university acted swiftly to launch an investigation when made aware of the issue.

Sadly, in the world of men and even boys’ youth/amateur sports, this type of behaviour is all too common. This notion of making newcomers to a team engage in certain activities to gain acceptance to the "club" was always indefensible and yet too often ignored by school or team officials.  How often have we heard the old adage, “boys will be boys” as though the behaviour was acceptable?  And this is part of the dreadful mentality that has allowed awful behavior to be passed off as socially acceptable for decades.

And it is just plain wrong—and always has been.

Why has it ever been “OK” for one person to intimidate another based on size, beliefs, whatever?  Why do “groups” get away with bullying others because an individual looks or acts differently than the “norm”?  That this kind of thinking has been unofficially embraced in the sports community is a tragedy.  It certainly is not a a good way to promote the values of  sport and belonging to a team- or a school.

Real "team play" has to do with respecting your teammates—and the opposition, for that matter—regardless of whether they look, act or talk the way you do or are “as good” a player as you are.  In fact, differences should be celebrated.

Forcing people to do something as a "lark" is never OK.  We’re not talking about helping a shy person come out of their shell. When discussing hazing, we are talking about about creating a threatening scenario where often frightened, coerced individuals feel they have to do things that go against their beliefs or that they are simply not comfortable with, in order to be “accepted” by teammates.  Why do some people feel they must make other individuals conform?  The fact is, it is morally bankrupt behaviour.

We’ve discussed this issue before here.  In fact, we recently mentioned a story that actually highlighted  an interesting—and positive—response to a case of bullying in a school in the United States.  School athletes were involved in providing a creative "solution" to a difficult circumstance.  Sadly, contrary to what popular opinion might be, it’s clear that even women’s sports are sometimes afflicted with this unfortunate phenomenon.

Sports ought to be fun, healthy, competitive and should strive to hold young people—and even professionals—to a high standard of behavior along the way.  Sports should, and often does, inspire youngsters and bring out the best in them.

These stories remind us, however, there are still vestiges of the bad old days out there.  And good for Dalhousie for taking a strong stand against one of its its own teams.

Youth sports, bullying and a story that warms the heart

“Bullying” has become an often-used term in recent years, and rightly so.  More and more people have stepped forward to try to, somehow, deal with a phenomenon that has actually, sadly, been around for generations. 

Years ago it wasn’t necessarily called “bullying”, but the impact was the same.  If you were somehow “different”, you were targeted, picked on.  It might be the way you “looked”.  (To the aggressor, any little physical feature would do.)  It could be your religious or ethnic background.  It could be your physical size.  It could be the way that you spoke, or where you came from.

Just about anything was fair game to those whose small minds and cruel hearts made it a twisted game.

The abuse came in many forms.  A child might be pushed around physically.  They may be ignored or talked about behind their back.  The attacks might have been verbal and constant.  They could be subtle or not subtle at all. 

When adults do this it carries no particular name.  It is simply seen as petty and mean-spirited.  When young people do it nowadays, it is called bullying.  And that’s exactly what it is.  And it does have to stop, however impossible a challenge that seems to be.

While more attention is, thankfully, paid to this sickness these days, it has always been a sad, ugly part of the human existence.  What causes youngsters to act out in this way—envy, discomfort, their own insecurities, anger, hatred— is a question no one can fully answer.  Regardless, what we now call bullying  remains one of our deadlier societal “diseases”—and one that we have not been able to cure.

A touching story from Rick Reilly at ESPN (click to see his piece) tells the tale of a young high school girl in Arizona who has been struggling to cope with “bullies” at school.  Her story is all the sadder, on the one hand, because though she is a sophomore in high school, her ability to connect with others is not like that of most kids in Grade 10.  Her level of comprehension is evidently more at a Grade 3 level.

As you will note in the story, at the end of the day, it is some of the school’s popular athletes who deal with her struggles in a passionate, touching manner.

In truth, it has been the experience of many people throughout generations—as far back as anyone can remember—that it has too often been the “cool” kids, the “popular” kids, especially the athletes in a school setting (whether it be elementary school, high school or college and university) who are the ones who pick on, ridicule and bully others—anyone who is “different” from them.

They use their group mentality to intimidate, threaten and ensure “silence” when silence is needed protect their own inexcusable behavior.  Yet ironically, many of these same athletes are often lauded publicly by their coach or school teachers who see them as “leaders”, all the while either willfully ignoring or being unaware of the nasty behavior that lurks behind the phony veneer of the popular athletes they trumpet as school leaders.

This story I am referring to today has a happy ending, however.  It took a mother’s direct intervention (after school authorities were incapable of handling the situation) and a positive response from the high school football team to make it happen, but the outcome has been an uplifting one for all concerned—except the bullies.

That the school’s football players were able to make things better for the young girl without resorting to a bullying mentality or approach themselves is encouraging in itself.  I invite you to check out the ESPN story.

We’re a long way from solving an issue that has been part of the human condition for far too long, but perhaps stories like this will embolden other “popular” young people, including young athletes, to take a stand and make a difference.

“Bad parents” movie reflects reality

Someone sent me a clip recently of a trailer for the movie “Bad Parents”, found on the Active for Life Magazine website.  The movie tell the stories of a group of soccer parents, and well, you can imagine the storylines that ensue.

As funny as the movie appears to be, it may also provide some insight into the filmmaker’s experience as a sports parent - or at least someone who has observed the often impossible-to-defend behavior of parents on the sidelines and in the stands.

The parent attitudes reflected in the story are, not surprisingly, rather poor.

If most of us are honest, we have all (well, most of us) said or done things at a youth sporting event that, upon reflection, we acknowledge we should have handled differently.  The emotion of the moment, especially when one’s own children are involved, often seems to turn otherwise thoughtful individuals into something, well, less than that.

Adults yell at referees (in fact, we just came across a story whereby a youth hockey coach was suspended for ten years for punching a 16 year-old hockey player), they scream at the kids on the field, usually creating much more anxiety than positive emotional support as a result of screaming things like, “get rid of the ball…get it out…GET IT OUT….”.  And those kind of shrieks are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to negative parent behavior—behavior that can drive their own children completely away from youth sports.

Sadly, youngsters may be embarrassed by their parents’ actions or worse, may copy and adopt the troubling adult behavior themselves.

It just leads to a carousel of negativity, hurt feelings and the result can be that youth sports, instead of being an enriching and healthy experience, becomes toxic and draining for all concerned.

A quick look at the movie trailer may be a timely reminder for all of us to set a much better example.

Acknowledgement for Taking You Beyond the Game

We were pleased to receive a note recently that listed us as an award-winning youth sports blog site.

This is the correspondence that we received:

I am pleased to inform you that Taking You Beyond the Game! has been recognised for excellence due to the contribution its top quality editorial offers the kids sports world.

KwikMed are a leading health (care) provider and and are regularly covered in the mainstream national press for their professional, modern approach to healthcare. They are one of just two fully licensed online pharmacies in the USA. This year, our specialist panel of judges have reviewed hundreds of different sites from across the internet before hand-picking the very best for each category. Taking You Beyond the Game! is among the elite selection of awardees that our judges felt made a real contribution to the kids sports category and you can see your site in lights here:

http://www.kwikmed.org/24-childrens-sports-websites-inspire-generation/

There are many outstanding sites among the award-winners, and it is a pleasure to be included in that company.

We appreciated receiving this acknowledgement, because we are serious about the work we do in trying to help instil certain values in the youth sports community through our seminars, books and the Taking You Beyond the Game site.

An opportunity for a “second chance” a lesson for youth sports coaches as well

I was reading this week about a wonderful story—a former major-league baseball player who suffered a concussion in his first at bat in the big leagues, and never had another…until now.

Adam Greenberg is the name of the player.

Greenberg was 24 years of age when, in his first major-league plate appearance playing for the Chicago Cubs, he was hit in the head by a pitch.  Severely concussed and hospitalized, he eventually battled through post-concussion syndrome and returned to playing baseball at the minor-league level.  But he never had the opportunity to play in the majors again.  He kept battling to get that chance, but teams just weren’t interested in giving him another shot.

Now, at the age of 31, he will get that opportunity, albeit briefly, thanks to the Miami Marlins.  (Click here to see more on the story.)

While the circumstances around the Greenberg “story” are certainly unique, it does raise an important issue when it comes to youth sports.  All too often coaches in youth sports overlook a young player because they are too “small”, not strong enough or “tough” enough—at least in the minds of those coaches.

They make a quick and often unfair determination that a particular individual can’t play or won’t ever be good enough.  They don’t look at the bigger picture.  They fail to see the potential.  They often aren’t equipped, as coaches, to identify if the young player has genuine determination to succeed, and just needs time, experience—and real coaching—to really shine.

Coaches like that miss youngsters with heart, cast away players who are late-bloomers, or ignore youngsters that bring the kind of genuine “leadership” skills that narrow-minded coaches don’t even know how to look for.  Those coaches also can’t identify a youngster who will be a real team-player, for example, and contribute to their team in a host of important ways.

It’s easy to spot the biggest and fastest players at the youth level.  Anyone can do that.  They are often born early in the calendar year, and are simply more physically advanced than many of those they compete against.  So they have a clear advantage.

Just like Greenberg is getting a second chance—albeit it is just for a day, in his case—a lot of youth coaches should not rely on instant assessments or a one or two-day tryout when looking at young players.

Too many kids with real potential - and character - get overlooked that way.