Important communications tips for Youth soccer coaches!

Here at "Taking You Beyond the Game" we continue to develop and provide a series of original articles on the importance of communication between youth sports coaches, parents and their players.  In fact, for many years now we have conducted seminars for youth sports Clubs on the topic, “How you can build Confidence and Character in young players through better Communication”. 

These seminars have always been tremendously well received (a number of testimonials are available on our Prospect Communications Inc.  website) in all cases, perhaps because they provide an honest—but positive—approach to working through some of the issues that youth coaches and parents face on a daily basis.

This has led us to develop an eBook called, simply, “A Guide to Effective Communication for Youth Soccer coaches”.  The book provides a series of common-sense, practical tips and suggestions to enhance relationships but most importantly, to help build the confidence (and therefore the skills!) of developing young players.

For now, the book is only available on iPads (Apple iBooks/iTunes), but we hope to have it on other platforms very soon.  If you are interested in checking out the book’s preview page, click here (Canada).  If you are in the United States, this is the iTunes link.  Readers in the U.K. can click here.

The response we have received so far has been overwhelmingly positive.  We hope you will agree that this book delivers value for coaches and parents and as a result (and most importantly) for young players.

NFL player acknowledges selfish mistake; says it won’t happen again

Danny Trevathan, a rising young player with the NFL’s Denver Broncos, was on all the TV sports highlight reels after his team’s opening game victory this past week. But he likely won’t want to check out his own highlights.

The second year linebacker, an important part of the Broncos’ future, intercepted a Joe Flacco pass in the third quarter of the season-opening game against the defending Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens on September 5.  The Broncos were leading at the time and, after his impressive play on the interception, Trevathan proceeded to run with the ball toward the Baltimore end zone.  However, he started his touchdown celebration prematurely.  As a result, he dropped the ball and it ended up rolling through the end zone, costing his team a touchdown.

The Broncos were able to laugh about the miscue after the game, which they ended up winning fairly handily by a score of 49-27.  But shortly after Trevathan’s mistake, the Ravens launched a comeback and nearly got back into the contest.

Had the Ravens completed the comeback, Trevathan’s error would have stood out as the “play of the night”, maybe the play of the season—for all the wrong reasons.

Games in any professional sport are obviously very competitive.  Emotional reactions are natural and at times players will go a bit over the top in their celebrations when things go well.  That’s understandable—to a point.

For some fans, the on-field celebrations have gotten to be too much.  For others, the theatrics are part of the entertainment package.  But when celebrations detract from team success, it becomes an issue.  In this instance, Trevathan was so interested in getting ready to celebrate his personal success on a play, he didn’t conclude the task at hand—complete the interception and run it back all the way to the end zone for a touchdown.

This is not the first time a player has done this and it won’t be the last.  But it’s a reminder of the importance of staying focused on your real goal.  Celebration comes after the achievement—not before.

After the game, Trevathan acknowledged his act (focusing on the celebration before he reached the end zone) was a selfish one.  As he put it, “It was a young mistake. It’s not going to happen again.”

Denver quarterback and team leader Peyton Manning said simply.  “It was a mistake and he will learn from it.”  Hopefully that’s the message young, often impressionable athletes will take away from watching Trevathan’s early celebration.  Making big plays is great and it’s OK to feel good about success—and within limits, celebrate that success on the field.  But the team comes first, and a player obviously never wants to do anything—driven by ego or a desire to showboat—that harms the team.

Players make mistakes all the time.  In fact, at the youth level, developing players should be encouraged to try things so they will gain confidence.  In that context, mistakes are a normal part of growth—in life and in sports.  Physical errors happen in sports at all levels, including at the professional level.  But when a mistake is rooted in ego, it’s not as easily acceptable.

Trevathan won’t do it again.  Hopefully a few aspiring young players will keep his “mistake” in their own personal memory bank—and remind themselves not to follow his example if they are ever in that situation.

FIFA Grassroots coaching course an important initiative in Ontario

It was great to see that the Ontario Soccer Association, in conjunction with the Canadian Soccer Association, hosted a major FIFA Grassroots coaching course last week.

The 4-day program attracted some of the province’s most qualified coaches to participate in a program that is sure to benefit soccer-playing youngsters in the years ahead.

Ontario is in the process of implementing Long-Term Player Development, a philosophy that aims to place individual skill development at the forefront of the how coaches approach their job. 

For years, the emphasis has been, at the younger ages, on winning games.  This creates a thought process—and ultimately a youth soccer culture—whereby coaches look to recruit the biggest, oldest and fastest players at these early ages, so their ‘rep’ teams can “win” their local league and advance in the so-called pyramid of play to the best leagues.

However, that approach has often resulted in misplaced priorities as well as missing ‘late-bloomers’ and discouraging a majority of players from staying in the sport.  These are often youngsters who were attracted to the sport in the first place but have been relegated to the sidelines because they weren’t quite big or fast enough to compete the way their coaches wanted them to when they were 9, 10 and 11 years of ages.

By the age of 13 or thereabouts, they are gone from the game.

The LTPD vision, while surely not perfect, at least aims to create a different attitude to coaching at the early ages, and a more thoughtful approach when it comes to how we develop young players. 

Some kids are “stars” at the early ages, relying on being bigger and faster than their less physically developed peers.  However, they often flatten out later in their “career” because they did not get the coaching required to help them work on their actual skills.  Instead, those coaches played a kick and chase game that led to victories—but not better, more skilled young players.

At the same time, many players develop later, but by the time they do, the “system” has essentially cast them aside when it comes to consideration for provincial play, etc..

LTPD, hopefully, will change attitudes, and encourage coaches to work to help all youngsters develop their skills and stay in love with the game.  This FIFA conference is another step in the right direction.

It’s not just youth sports coaches who sometimes make mistakes—we parents do, too

One of the most enjoyable (and I feel important) things that my wife and long-time business partner Mary-Louise and I have done in recent years is to utilize our background in communication to conduct seminars for youth sports Clubs.  Our focus is on how better communications can help coaches, for example, to do some simple but important things to build better and much more positive relationships—and outcomes— with their players (and with parents, too).

More than just communicating a bit better, coaches can and should work to build confidence and character in their young players. (In fact, that’s the title of our talk: How better Communication can help build Confidence and Character in young players.)  A lot of that can indeed be accomplished by being better at putting themselves in the shoes of their players—and the parents they interact with, too.

As parents ourselves, Mary-Louise and I made our share of “sports parent” mistakes over the past 25 plus years.  (Our eldest of four sons, now 33, first became involved in youth sports when he was 7 years old.)  While we encountered some wonderful people along the way, we also witnessed attitudes and behaviours that were toxic from some coaches and fellow parents. This life experience as “sports parents”, along with our background in communications and working in the amateur and youth sports field, has led to our offering the seminars that we do.

Lately, we have also begun hosting a program expressly for parents, to help them recognize small ways they can be better at understanding the needs of their own youngsters and also how they can become better at developing relationships with their child’s youth sports coaches. In fact, we just conducted a parent seminar recently for a large soccer Club in the Greater Toronto Area, and we were thrilled with the very positive response we received.

No coach—and no parent—is ever perfect.  Sadly, coaches too often coach to “win” at the younger ages when the real opportunity and focus should be to develop the skills and attitudes of all their young players—not just the select few who are bigger and faster and who seem to have the most obvious “potential”. This “win at all costs” mentality often results in kids leaving sports at a young age, because it simply isn’t enjoyable any longer.  

Surely the “job” of a youth sports coach is not to “win” but to ensure that all players learn, improve and enjoy the overall experience so much they want to stay in the sport that they loved to begin with.  In our talks we sometimes say to coaches:  if nothing else, at least do not kill the love that your young players have for the game.

And that can apply to parents as well, because we too often bring our over-invested emotions to the table, and it causes us to act out in the youth sports arena in ways that we never would in any other setting.  It’s not just “living through” our own children, though that can be part of the problem.  We push, criticize and develop expectations that are, in some instances, not realistic.  We ask for higher standards on the field of play from, say, a 9 year-old, that we can’t possibly attain ourselves in our everyday life.

In the end, we can do damage to our own kids, and that’s never good.

There are ways we can all be a bit wiser, more thoughtful, more positive, when we are part of the youth sports landscape.  If you represent a youth sports Club and would like to find out more about our seminars and how it can be a benefit to coaches and parents (and therefore to the youngsters at your Club), send me a note at Michael@prospectcommunications.com

Brett Lawrie’s tantrum not the best message for aspiring young athletes

Being a professional athlete is a difficult and demanding job.  Individuals have to be not only exceptionally talented, but have worked long and hard to be among the one per cent of one percent who “rise to the top” of all those who began playing a particular sport as kids simply for fun.

In the same breath, while the financial rewards nowadays are handsome indeed for those who make it, athletes face a daily and very public pressure—besides their own personal performance expectations—from fans and the media.

It can be a bit too easy at times to criticize others when we don’t fully live through or understand the unique pressures someone else faces, including those often daunting public pressures and expectations facing many athletes.

That said, on occasion, a player will do something that makes a fan—or any interested observer—do a bit of a double take.  Such was the case recently when Brett Lawrie, the outstanding young third baseman with the Toronto Blue Jays acted out publicly in a game.

In the contest in question, the Blue Jays were trailing by several runs in the 9^th inning of a game against the Baltimore Orioles.  There were runners on first and third when young Lawrie, a talented and intense player, hit a fly ball to right field.  The ball was caught and the player on third base, teammate Adam Lind, did not attempt to score after the catch.

When Lawrie saw this (as he returned to his team’s dugout) he looked at both at Lind and the Jays third base coach, Luis Rivera.  He appeared to be saying something.  He was clearly agitated that Lind had not tried to advance, which was a decision made by the experienced coach.  The coach understood that Lind’s “run” was not important, given that the Jays were behind by several runs and there was a risk Lind, a slow runner, would be thrown out at home by the Orioles right-fielder, Nick Markakis, who has a very good throwing arm. 

The Jays needed a lot more than the run Lind might have scored on a risky attempt, yet Lawrie was visibly upset, and his anger carried over into the dugout where he was told by the team manager, John Gibbons, to calm down—with words, based on reading his lips, that were much harsher than what I just wrote.

What essentially occurred is that Lawrie had thrown a public tanrum, essentially publicly embarrassing and “calling out” (in sporting terms) a respected third-base coach (and former player himself) and his own teammate, Lind. 

Was Lawrie upset because the Jays needed that run, or because he missed a chance for a precious RBI—a personal statistical benefit which would also have helped his then dwindling early-season batting average?  (A player is not charged with an “out” or an official time at bat if he is credited with a run-scoring “sacrifice fly”.)

Those of us not in the team’s dressing room don’t know how teammates may have truly felt after the outburst.  But one could surmise that there are many major-league locker rooms (a successful organization like the New York Yankees, captained by the legendary Derek Jeter and with a legacy of success, might be one example) where it is unlikely that kind of publicly selfish behaviour would be tolerated.

It’s one thing to be an “intense” player who gives his all in endeavoring to help his team win.  It’s quite another to take that intensity and turn it against your own teammates (and coaches) and do so in a public fashion—because you put yourself above your team.

The Jays came back to win that particular game with a rather remarkable comeback after the Lawrie incident.  Interestingly, however, his behaviour was talked about more than the impressive victory.  And that may well be because a solitary victory in a 162-game season, while important, is nowhere near as important as how teammates treat and respect one another through the marathon that is a professional sports season.

Soccer has always been a sport, it seems, where professionals display their negative emotions in public toward teammates and for some reason, it is tolerated and accepted.  Yet such behaviour sets a terrible example for youngsters.  I’ve seen countless examples on youth soccer sidelines over the years of young players abusing officials, disrespecting adult coaches and criticizing their own teammates—by gestures and words—because they wanted to receive the ball at a certain location, or at a particular moment, whatever the case may be.

Where is this type of behaviour learned?  Usually in the home—or by watching what adult professionals behave like.

Regardless, when that kind of attitude of “blaming others” is learned at an early age, it can carry on forever.  That sense of personal entitlement and an accompanying lack of accountability sometimes never really leaves the individual. Watching an adult professional like Lawrie act out the other day was a reminder of what it was like seeing a much younger athlete with a huge ego (and who has always seen themselves as better than others) act immaturely.

Those “athletes”, those individuals, young or old, may indeed be “better” players than some of their teammates.  But their attitude is not.  And for a lot of us, being a good teammate and having the right kind of attitude is far more important than being “better” on the field of play.

Mariano Rivera sets a fine example for all

There is little doubt that, in the world of professional baseball, Mariano Rivera of the New York Yankees has been one of the “class acts” in the sport since he arrived on the scene in time for the 1996 major-league season.

He has helped the Yankees win a number of championships since that time, and in the process, has become one of the finest (arguably the best) “closers” of all-time.

After an early-season knee injury a year ago caused him to miss virtually the entire 2012 season, he was determined to return for one last year in Yankee pinstripes.  And he is indeed back.

But beyond his remarkable recovery from a serious injury as an athlete in his 40’s (he is now 43), the Panama-born pitcher has made a point of doing his “farewell tour” differently than most.  Rather than focusing on himself, in his final visit to play the teams the Yankees have competed against all these years, Rivera has asked, in every city he visits, to meet and spend time with employees from those organizations.  He wants to express his personal ‘thank you’ to those who make the game possible, and who, indirectly (perhaps directly, by their good work) have assisted him in becoming what he is.

Here is a link to one of the many articles (via Sports Illustrated) that have appeared about Rivera’s outlook.  He has sought out office staff, grounds crew employees, fans—any and all individuals who contribute behind the scenes to their organizations and the game of baseball, but do so usually without attention or thanks.

It is an unusual way to say “goodbye” to the game that has made him famous—and wealthy.  But it says something about Rivera that he has made a point of thanking others on his way out the door—shaking hands, posing for pictures, signing autographs but most importantly, just talking privately, one-on-one.  And he is spending time primarily with those who are never in the limelight themselves, but without whom the game would not function as smoothly as it does.

Rivera will be remembered as a Hall-of-Famer, an all-time Yankee—and baseball—great.

For those he will connect in this unique manner throughout the rest of the 2013 season, he may be remembered a bit differently.  But the memories will likely be no less special.

Athletes may not always be considered positive role-models any more, and understandably so, but for young athletes looking for someone to emulate—in terms of attitude, behavior, work ethic and humility—Rivera might be a good place to start.