Kids need to learn “how to lose”, yes, but do we really teach them how? And do we know how to teach it?

One of the criticisms about the introduction of Long-Term Player Development (LTPD) in sports such as soccer here in Canada is that it “kills competition”.

The truth is, that is not what LTPD is about.  What LTPD does look to do is to move Clubs, coaches and parents away from an obsession with winning at the very young ages and instead, focus on ways to help each individual player develop their skills.  Youngsters who want to play purely for fun can do exactly that.  Those that aspire to a future in the sport will be able to focus on what’s really most important:  enhancing the skills they need to achieve their goals.

The above is ideally accomplished in an environment that allows kids to try things and make “mistakes” in games—without worrying that a wayward pass may cost their team a “victory” and a chance to be “promoted” to a better league next season.

Too often in sports like soccer, coaches look for (“poach” in many instances) and select for their teams the biggest, fastest, oldest (born early in the calendar year) players to build their team.  A couple of these players at U9, U10 and U11 can often create a “winning” team.  Actually developing the skills of all the players on the teams becomes an afterthought, and gets lost in translation.

What about the small player, or the late-bloomer?  Forget it.  He or she gets lost in the shuffle when winning is what really matters.

But back to the criticism of LTPD:  some opposing LTPD say that kids need to “learn how to lose” and that by taking away scores at the young ages, we are doing a disservice to youngsters who need to face these important life lessons.

Well, while we all have to learn how to handle life’s trials and hardships, it’s difficult to see why little kids at the ages of 8, 9 and 10, for example, need to deal with “losing” a game.  For anyone in sports, there is plenty of time to “learn” to deal with losing and with things not going our way.  There is still a lot of competition within the LTPD philosophy, but the focus is simply different.  If nothing else, if it helps to reduce the number of youth coaches (and parents) who scream at young players to just “get rid of the ball” or “kick it out, kick it out…” and yell from the sidelines about what the adults see as mistakes—and thereby creating undue anxiety in youngsters paralyzed by the fear of making a “mistake”—it would be a huge success.

The really sad point about critics who just can’t accept the de-emphasis on scores and standings at young ages, and who harp on the notion that “kids have to learn how to lose”, is that many of those same people clearly don’t do a very good job of actually teaching their own children how to lose.

We can say the words, “kids need to learn how to lose”, but do we really understand what we should be teaching them?  It’s way more than learning how to lose a game without temper tantrums, though that would be a start.  It’s learning how to win graciously.  It’s sportsmanship.  It’s attitude.  It’s working hard, truly doing your very best, then learning how to keep your “wins and losses” in youth sports in some kind of appropriate life perspective.

Too often we visit local soccer fields and we see parents screaming on the sidelines and coaches out of control.  We witness parents, coaches and even very young players yelling at referees, showing a total lack of respect for decisions that are made.  Some of these same parents and coaches themselves don’t know how to lose—and they are the people teaching the young athletes.

It’s easy to spot “star” players who get all puffed up when they score the winning goal, but blame others and whine when they lose, or who treat their less talented teammates as “less than”.  Is that what kids should be taught?  Who is actually helping them to learn how to be a better “winner”,  “loser”—and teammate?

Being a “winner”—as a coach, parent or player—surely is about much more than how many goals are scored in a game.  That’s part of the equation, but only part.  And so often, that message is not taught.  All the other (important) characteristics that make-up a “winner”—including being a great teammate, setting the right kind of examples, supporting teammates when they are down, respecting the opposition—are often simply ignored because our team scored at the end and we won the game.

There is much more to teaching our kids about life and coping with losing than we can share here today in this space.  But let me reiterate the point:  it’s fine to talk about the importance of kids learning how to lose.  But who is doing the teaching?  Are we simply leaving the kids on their own?  Are we adults—coaches, parents, teachers, sports leaders—setting any kind of example?  What values do we hold that we are passing along?  More importantly, what values do we actually live and model?

Are coaches getting the professional development (yes even grassroots coaches benefit from ongoing personal development) to learn how to better communicate and help kids with learning to lose—and win? Because if the individuals teaching these life lessons about “losing” are the same people who make youngsters want to quit sports by the age of 13 because their parents and coached killed the love the youngster had for their sport, then we have much bigger issues than whether LTPD discourages keeping scores at young ages.

College runner shows us the meaning of sportsmanship

It’s easy to find—and we sometimes write about them here—examples of poor sportsmanship, as demonstrated at times by professional athletes.  But it’s much more heartwarming to focus on times when individuals in sport really capture the essence of sportsmanship, showing that you can be an elite athlete/competitor and still handle situations with grace.

One such individual has captured attention in recent days—a long-distance runner named Meghan Vogel, a student-athlete from a Division III school in the United States.  After seeing a fellow runner fall in front of her, rather than run by and “get ahead” in the race, Meghan stopped, helped her fellow competitor up, and proceeded to assist the fallen runner to the finish line.

The story is well-detailed at ESPN.

This brings to mind a situation from a few years ago, also in women’s collegiate sports in the United States, when a player hit a home run, but fell rounding first base and suffered a serious knee injury.  She couldn’t get up, but a rival player went over, picked up her opponent, and carried her around the rest of the bases to ensure the player would receive credit for her home run.

We don’t see (or at least hear about) these kinds of acts of selflessness often enough, but when we do, we should highlight and celebrate them.  Because every once in a while, in a very competitive world, individuals sometimes stand above the crowd and show that sports—and life— is, in the end, about much more than winning and losing.

Referee abuse in youth sports out of control

Recent media coverage of instances of abuse of officials in youth sports demonstrates that too much emphasis is being placed on “winning”.

Sports are inherently competitive, yes.  It is natural to compete—in life and certainly in sports.  That applies to youngsters and adults alike.

But the over-emphasis on “winning” at the early ages in sports leads all too often to the kind of over-the-top behavior that simply can’t be justified—and should not be tolerated, either from parents or the young athletes themselves.

One such situation occurred recently in Alabama, where, if you can imagine,  a grandfather went after the umpire after a girls softball game. (Click to read more.)  The grandfather was eventually charged and faces up to ten years in prison.

We also cite a recent article in the Winnipeg Sun by columnist Paul Friesen.  Friesen writes about how youth hockey is losing countless young officials because of the abuse they receive at the hands of parents—and players. It’s a  very discouraging story.

Some will suggest these are simply isolated instances of poor conduct that do not reflect a greater problem.  In fact, it is a serious problem.  These two incidents happen to have been reported by the media.  The truth is that inexcusable behavior rears its head commonly in hockey rinks, on baseball diamonds and on soccer pitches and basketball courts on a regular basis wherever youth sports are played.  And the issue quite rightly raises the argument that there is simply too much emphasis placed on “winning” games at young ages in sport.

Young people have to learn to “win” and “lose” at some appropriate point in their life, without question.  But is it really necessary at the ages of 8, 9 and 10, for example?  There is plenty of time to learn to compete properly, to handle “winning and losing” and to shoot for “victory” when winning can and should be part of the competitive equation.

Parents often set a horrible example in this regard for their children.  They yell and scream at game officials any time a call goes “against” their son or daughter’s team.  Where does this lead?  Too often, it leads to youngsters mimicking their parents’ awful behavior.  The young players disrespect adult officials, or try to intimidate young officials who are simply trying to do their “job” to the best of their ability.

We are all tempted (and have likely set a poor example somewhere along the way ourselves) to be upset at a referee's decision, for example.  But we need to check our behaviour and not allow ourselves to act in a way that reflects badly on us- and on the values we should be trying to uphold and example for our children.

All parents love their kids and enjoy cheering for them at a sporting event.  But this can be done positively—without constantly blaming officials if things don’t go our way.  Sadly, emotion often overwhelms the moment and unfortunately, some parents become so over-invested in the sporting activities of their children that their behavior is an ongoing embarrassment.

It’s a sad commentary when young soccer and hockey referees leave the sport because they don’t feel safe and protected, as a result of the unacceptable behavior of adults as well as the behaviour of young athletes who are often simply—and sadly—reflecting what they witness themselves.

“Bounty” system delivers a terrible message for young people

Professional sport is big business.  It’s about money—and winning. 

That true sportsmanship is not always (ever?) at the forefront of “game plans” and motivational strategies—when the result is the only thing that matters—is not a shock to anyone.

But recent revelations that some NFL coaches (in particular, former New Orleans Saints defensive coordinate Gregg Williams) have routinely employed what is referred to as a “bounty” system are profoundly disturbing.

Pro football, by its very nature, is already a physical, often violent sport.  It remains wildly popular, though the violent aspect of the sport is finally beginning to receive attention, especially as we discover that more and more former players, sadly, are living out their lives with dementia and various ailments that are clearly related to hitting—and being hit—throughout their football careers.

So it is ironic that, at a time when the world is finally beginning to take issues such as head trauma and concussions (and the long-lasting repercussions of such injuries) seriously, that there are still coaches who apparently “teach” professional players to try and injure opponents so those players are “knocked out of the game”.  And, the players are rewarded if they manage to knock an opposing player out.

Williams was once the Head coach of the Buffalo Bills.  We encourage you to read the article (linked to WIVB) which details some of the concerning elements of the impact this kind of behavior at the professional level can have on our youth.

We know young people are often influenced by how adults and especially sports “heroes” act.  Here’s hoping this is one example that will be punished severely by the powers-that-be at the NFL level, sending a message to all youth coaches and players alike that this kind of behavior—and thinking—is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.  

'No celebration' rule costs high school team a championship- a life lesson or an absurd regulation?

We read with interest this week about how a high school football team in the state of Massachusetts lost a championship game because of a rule that disallows “celebrations”.

Now, many sports fans likely believe that excessive celebrations in sport have become somewhat tiresome at the professional level.  Simple plays lead to fist-pumping and a range of theatrics that, depending on your point of view, are either entertaining, a part of freedom of expression, or ridiculous and overdone.

And yes, it is clear that how professionals behave impacts how impressionable younger athletes/people sometimes respond, whether on Club teams or at the high school level, for example.

This particular situation in Massachusetts occurred in a state championship game—an event that all those involved with will remember for the rest of their lives.  One team scored a touchdown in the final moments of the game, a touchdown that would have given them the victory and the state championship (see original story with video clip here).

http://espn.go.com/boston/story/_/id/7327275/celebration-penalty-td-costs-cathedral-high-school-team-title

But the league rule is “no celebration”.  Because the player scoring the touchdown put his hand up well in advance of the goal line, that evidently met the criteria for a “rule infraction”.  There wasn’t just (as there is at higher levels of play) a penalty on the point after attempt or the ensuing kick off—the actual touchdown was nullified, as though the play had never happened.

It’s difficult to comprehend the thinking here.  While we write regularly and passionately here about sportsmanship and examples of such, this, on the surface, appears to be a case where a well-intentioned “rule”—one intended to send a message and alter over-zealous and unsportsmanlike behavior—sends a troubling message.

You will note in reading the explanation from the “league”, that it says, essentially, the young people affected will have this sort of thing happen in life.  That is, that those in charge will sometimes made decisions that they don’t agree with or feel is fair in life and they will have to learn to deal with decisions that go against them.

While that is inarguably true on the one hand, it covers up a different type of  injustice.  The other “reality” is that the play (the touchdown) was a fair play.  There was no deceit, no cheating, no “holding” or other true football foul on the field of play.

Because a young person showed joy and exuberance, they were penalized.  Not just penalized a few yards on the field of play, but a state championship honor that they had clearly, rightly, earned.

Those around at the time all remember Joe Namath walking off the field after Super Bowl III, holding up a single finger to show fans his New York Jets were "number-one". He was bragging, feeling proud.  It was a natural, spontaneous show of emotion.

It was human.

Did he "show up the opposition"? Not really.

When teams celebrate championships they get excited.  It reflects hours, sometimes years, of dedication and tireless effort to improve skills and build team harmony, all good things.  A show of extreme joy is surely understandable and should not be seen as in some way showing a lack of respect for the team you competed against.

When baseball players at the major league level hit a home run to win a big game in the 9th inning, the player circling the bases is ecstatic and shows their emotion as the other team is walking of the field.  Their teammates rush out to the field of play to celebrate.  Again, it's natural.

Being happy is not poor sportsmanship.

Now, if this team had acted inn an un-sportsmanlike fashion throughout the game and the on-field officials had warned them and they had ignored warnings, and then the refs felt they had no chance but to make an "extreme" call on a subjective ruling, this would be a bit easier to understand.

But if that was not the case (and there are no reports to suggest that it was) are we—and more especially those who worked so hard to achieve that success— supposed to believe that life is about technicalities?  That the winning play, legal as it was, never actually happened?

And how will the new “state champions” feel?  They won not on the field of play, but essentially because of a “fair play” rule that, while valid on the surface, does not pass the real life test of competition here.  They will always remember being “champions”—not because they earned it, though they no doubt worked hard to get as far as they did—but because a bunch of adults were trying to impose a standard of behavior that they probably couldn’t meet themselves when they were the same age.

But it’s OK to raise the bar for someone else, apparently.

Yes, sportsmanship is tremendously important. It always has been and always been in in all aspects of sports, and life.  And coaches, schools, leagues and those in authority, in positions of leadership, have a responsibility to set rules that establish important values.

But everyone in the state knows who the “real” winner of the championship is.  Sanction the team in some way, but depriving them of a championship they earned makes no sense.

NFL coaches handshake tussle sets another poor example for kids

We all understand that professional sports are not only “big business” but its games are played at a fever pitch by the best athletes in the world in their field.  Emotions run more than a little high, and it’s hard not to be over-exuberant when one has success, or downtrodden when things don’t go a player’s way in the midst of a close game.

So it was somewhat understandable that two National Football League coaches—at the helm of franchises that been both been struggling now for many years—would be as excited as their players for the big game this past weekend in Detroit involving the Lions and the visiting San Francisco 49ers.

Former NFL quarterback (and highly successful NCAA coach) Jim Harbaugh coaches the 49ers; Jim Schwartz coaches the Lions.  Both had their teams off to fantastic starts in the 2011 NFL season.

When the final whistle was blown, San Francisco emerged the victor with a narrow, hard-fought win.  At the end of the game, Harbaugh raced across the field for the customary post-game handshake.  His glee was evidently a little too apparent for Schwartz when they shook hands (Harbaugh gave a very animated "shake") and after the two men separated, Schwartz proceeded to run after the 49er coach, trying to catch his attention.  For a few moments, it looked as though there might be an altercation, but the two were ultimately separated.

Nothing really “happened” but it was a bizarre situation.  (Some may recall that, some years ago, there was an actual shoving incident in the Canadian Football League between coaches for the Toronto Argonauts and the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.)  The traditional post-game handshake may sometimes be less than heartfelt (witness when Eric Mangini coached in New York and Cleveland and met with his former, somewhat estranged boss Bill Belichek after games between their two clubs) but generally speaking, both coaches do the right thing:  they congratulate the coach of the other team, win or lose, and leave the field with their dignity intact.

In this instance, that did not happen.  Afterwards, Harbaugh sounded remorseful for being too exuberant with his “handshake” but nothing more.  Schwartz seemed to lay the blame on Harbaugh.

Regardless, it was indeed an unfortunate incident, one that sets another poor example for coaches at all levels—and for young athletes as well.

If the most “professional” coaches, supposed “leaders” in the sport cannot conduct themselves properly after a game—win or lose—no matter how intense the competition was, it doesn’t speak well about their perspective and values.

Perhaps the lesson for youth and amateur coaches must be:  be humble and gracious in victory and take the high road in defeat, as well.  It’s not always easy, but it’s still the right thing to do.

Can we ever truly move past “winning” in youth sports?

We have written many original articles over the years (including posts on this site) on the value and importance of some old-fashioned but still relevant values in youth sports:  a) sportsmanship b) what it means to be a real team player and c) why communication, attitude and behavior is important when it comes to coaching youth sports, and how it can help build confidence and character in young people.

But sometimes we wonder if people will ever be truly able to move past the absolute over-emphasis on winning at the youth level.

We still celebrate winning on a regular basis.  Look at the Little League baseball World Series every August.  This is not to say there is something wrong with that longstanding tradition, but it’s hard not to wonder if we haven’t left behind a trail of disillusioned youngsters who weren’t the "winners"—but were subjected to mental and verbal abuse from those closest to them in the name of trying to “win a championship”. 

Name a city. Name a sport.  It’s the same everywhere.

To be clear, as we often stress in the seminars we do for youth sports organizations and coaches, as parents, we've made plenty of “mistakes” ourselves.  To this day (even with our four sons now adults) it’s sometimes hard to shed the competitiveness that too many of us carry as parents and/or as coaches.

Thankfully, we are seeing in some countries and in many youth sports, a renewed focus on fun and player development rather than “winning” at young ages in sports. The intent is that, even for elite players, they should enjoy their sport but also spend more time trying to improve their skills rather than playing 100 games a year and playing in as many tournaments as possible to get more “medals”.

Does that mean everything we do know is wrong?  That it’s wrong to try to "win" and earn “medals”.

We don’t think so, but hopefully a new emphasis will translate into new attitudes around kids in sport.  But the reality is, these things take time.

When you are a Mom or Dad (maybe not all Moms' and Dads', but an awful lot!) and you’re watching your 12 year-old daughter compete in a baseball or soccer game, for example, what are your natural instincts?  In most cases, it is of course to hope that your daughter plays well, has personal “success” and that their team “wins”.

While that might well be a natural instinct, and “healthy” on one level, something else seems to have arisen through the years.  That is, that generations-worth of emphasis on exactly that last objective, winning, has seemingly made it difficult to model and teach those other values and objectives we spoke of above—and are supposed to be teaching every day in every aspect of our lives:  sportsmanship and the importance of acting appropriately when you are part of a “team”.

These things may sound simple, but they must not be, or there would not be so many instances, large and small, of parents going over the top, or coaches doing the same.

But it’s not always the big “incidents” that get media play or are nowadays captured on You Tube.  It is the little lessons (many bad) that we model and reflect in our attitude:  the comments that we as adults and supposed role-models make about kids, coaches, administrators, umpires and referees.

When we yell at a teenage referee at a soccer game for 10 year-olds, it reveals something about us and diminishes us.  That is not the best “us”, and not what we strive to show our own kids, or any youngster.

And it may just send the message to kids that this kind of behaviour is OK, because it’s "sports", and competing is about trying to get an edge, to “win”.

Whenever we criticize a player on another team, it’s the same thing.  Or talk about our child’s coach to other parents, it has the same effect.

Eventually the toxicity spreads—most importantly, to the kids themselves.

If you’re interested, check out some of our original articles on this site by clicking on posts of interest on the right-hand of this space.

We don’t have all the answers.  No one does.  But many people seem to care about this subject, and if more and more people—parents, coaches and all those involved in youth sports—can genuinely try to fight their “natural” inclinations and step beyond our own self (and sometimes selfish) interests, maybe we can slowly help change attitudes- starting with our own.

Teaching the values of sportsmanship to young people is still important

Most parents get their children involved in youth sports for a variety of reasons – perhaps because of the health benefits of being active, learning to socialize well, or learning to play as a member of a team.

But maybe as important is the opportunity to help their child learn to become a “good sport”.

Being a good sport does not mean that a young athlete doesn't try to win. There will always be so-called “winners” and “losers” whenever keeping score. It’s natural to want to win.

Sportsmanship, though, has to do with how one competes on the field of play, and how a young athlete—any athlete—handles winning and losing and the ups and downs of being involved in sport.

Youth sports can be highly competitive—some would argue far too competitive and not always healthy. Unfortunately, adults are often times the ones who behave as “poor sports” and as their children become accustomed to the sports world around them they may well take on those negative traits as well.

The “good sports” are those who compete hard, support their own teammates in good times and bad on the field and off, and show respect for the opposition. While the aim is generally is to “beat" the other person or the other team, the objective should not be to embarrass, harass or diminish.

 Good Role Models Lead the Way

Parents are—or should be—the most important role model for youngsters in terms of day-to-day behaviour, and that can include on the field of play.

Youth coaches may not realize it, but their influence on those they coach is significant. A coach who yells at and berates players, screams at game officials and loses his or her cool when things don’t go their way sets a poor example for their impressionable young  players.

On the other hand, coaches who demonstrate patience and don’t have an attitude of “blame” set a positive example for their young charges.

Professional athletes are part of the picture as well. For better or worse, youngsters still tend to look up to and emulate the behaviour that they see and read about.

Many modern-day, high-profile professional athletes have insisted that they aren’t—and do not wish to be—role models. On the one hand this is simply an acknowledgement that they should not be put up on a pedestal by young people, because those athletes are only human and prone to fail and disappoint those who look up to them.

At the same time, while professional athletes can’t (and shouldn’t) replace good parents as positive influences, some athletes can be a positive role model. In those instances, good role models typically are excellent teammates who genuinely support other players, have a positive attitude toward the media and the fans, are involved in their community, and are respected on the field of play because of their commitment to excellence and fair play.

How to Set the Example of Good Sportsmanship

Indeed, parents, youth coaches and professional athletes each has a role to play in setting an example of good sportsmanship for young people.

Parents should be vigilant in how they speak and act in front of their youngsters.  Constant negative talk about their child’s teammates, coaches, the opposition or game officials can affect how their youngsters see the world and create in those young people some very harsh and negative attitudes towards others.

Youth coaches should regularly look in the mirror and self-reflect to ensure their behaviour is consistent with the positive values they are trying to instil. They should respect opponents both publicly and in private. They should teach skills, demonstrate patience and be consistent in how they administer discipline. They can be tough when it’s time to be tough, but should always be approachable and available when their players need to speak with them.

Professional athletes, if they care about being a constructive influence, should ask themselves how they want to be remembered by the youngsters who watch them play. Do they want to be remembered as a self-absorbed “prima donna” or as a well-rounded, thoughtful person with class?

Being a “good sport” can be awfully difficult for adults, let alone youngsters.  But that shouldn’t stop us from at least trying to set a good example.

Highlighting some “Stylish Bloggers”

Recently, this site, TakingYou Beyond the Game, was nominated as a “stylish blogger”. It was unexpected but we very much appreciated the recognition.

One of the rewards/tasks is to nominate 15 others who deserve recognition as well—and we are glad to do just that.

Here are 15 blogs (not in any particular order!) that we enjoy and sense others may as well:

1. We want to nominate and acknowledge the blogger who first nominated us .  Solomon Alexander (of St. Louis) has created a very thoughtful and  interesting blog - Sportsmanship that showcases the respect, fair play, civility, and fun in sports.
2. Another site entitled JBMthinks. Wonderful articles on youth sports and family.
3. A youth hockey site called MacPherson hockey.
4. The Ultimate Sports Parent Blog is one of the best sites out there relating to youth sports.
5. If you have youngsters involved in baseball check out former Major Leaguer Jack Perconte’s Positive Parenting Tips Blog.
6. A dear old friend living in the U.S. mid-west has a very thoughtful blog called Midwestern Sensibilities.
7. One of the finest and most comprehensive hockey blogs on the ‘net is Preds on the Glass hosted by Buddy Oakes and his son Jackson.
8. If you enjoy good, simple writing that makes people think, visit Wrights Lane.
9. Check out StatsDad for a truly unique look at youth sports in America.
10. For those who are into health and eating with a conscience, try VeganDad .
11. Those interested in analysis of professional soccer, especially in Canada, from a former professional’s perspective with keen insight, visit Jason De Vos’ site at CBC sports.
12. A long-time professional columnist and writer at the Toronto Star, Vinay Menon, has put on his hockey fan’s hit this NHL season and launched an outstanding site at A Leafs Fan Blog with a great mix of analysis, humour and just the right amount of old-time frustration that only Maple Leaf hockey fans seem to have.
13. Design, art, architecture and sports, too at Frivolous Ornamentation Daily. 
14. A comprehensive look at all things in Canadian soccer with Bill Ault at Canada Kicks.
15. And a site that provides support and guidance about young people working toward their dreams and leading a healthy, active life at Inspiring Kids Today

All these above sites are worth visiting and if you have a moment, you may enjoy them as we have.

Best wishes.

Youth coaches and sportsmanship: another poor example

High school sports can be very, very competitive. School pride, banners, tradition, history. Longstanding rivalries that, in some cases, go back decades.

It can be exhilarating. But it can also get out of hand.

Two high school hockey coaches in Manitoba made a decision recently which led to a suspension. By allegedly asking their team to intentionally “throw” a game, the subsequent result eliminated a rival from advancing in playoff competition—a rival that apparently could have upset their championship dreams.

I first noticed the story on line at  - http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=356486  An even more in-depth piece was posted in the Winnipeg Sun at http://www.winnipegsun.com/sports/hockey/2011/03/03/17489011.html

The issue has since been discussed in various media outlets across the country.

The offending coaches have been suspended. I wonder if people believe this type of attitude and approach, in the name of “winning” and giving your own school team a better chance to win a championship, is defensible or even acceptable? Or do you see this as yet another example of poor sportsmanship and adults setting a poor example for our youth?

Send your comments along.

Youth coach faces suspension because of principled stand

There is always an “accuracy” risk in writing or commenting about something without knowing all the facts.

I’m referring, in this instance, to recent published reports about a youth hockey team in Peterborough, Ontario. The reports indicate that a coach pulled his team in the middle of a game. Why? One of his players had been subjected to a racial slur and the other team (and player who is alleged to have made the remark) did not immediately apologize to the player in question.

There seems to be no debate that the remark was indeed made. The offending player/team did apologize afterwards, the player evidently showing genuine remorse.

In the interim, the Ontario Minor Hockey Association, pending an official hearing, has suspended the coach who pulled his team off the ice. The reason? Teams are not allowed, by rule, to pull their teams off the ice during a game—even in a case such as this.

As I mentioned earlier, I don’t know those involved and did not witness the incident. It’s always possible there are facts or factors that outsiders are simply not aware of.

The hockey authorities in question stand by their decision to suspend the coach, based on longstanding rules and regulations.

But it is difficult not to question an authority structure that suspends a coach, when, by all accounts, that individual is simply standing up for his players, his team, and an question of principle.

Were there other ways to protest the remark? No doubt. And it makes sense to await a thorough investigation to determine exactly what took place and why and whether the “punishment” is fair.

But this just seems to be, on the surface at least, a case where technicalities over-rule common sense. If the coach who was suspended was, in fact, simply protecting his player and his team from abuse and “taking a stand”, is a suspension really fair?

I’m sure more will come from this story, but for now, an indefinite suspension (it could be up to a full year) would seem to be a peculiar decision, since the coach did not initiate the offensive action. (The player who made the remark and his two coaches were suspended for three days and are all back in action already.)

I’m not sure this all sends a very clear—or good—message to our young people.

An unforgettable moment of character and sportsmanship

First published on prospectcommunications.blogspot.com  - Wednesday, August 20, 2008

*****

 The following article, from ESPN.com some weeks ago, is a wonderful story which expresses a number of sentiments, including the adage, "actions speak louder than words".

The story speaks for itself, and stands as a seemingly rare but tremendously important example of genuine sportsmanship.

NOTE: The author of the piece, Graham Hays, offers the following sidebar in his piece to clarify the rule central to this incident: "As one of the umpires involved in the game between Central Washington and Western Oregon confirmed in an e-mail to ESPN.com, the rule in question was misinterpreted on the field after Tucholsky's injury and later clarified by the NCAA. According to page 105, rule 8.5.3.2 of the NCAA softball rule book, "If an injury to a batter-runner or runner prevents her from proceeding to an awarded base, the ball is dead and the substitution can be made. The substitute must legally touch all awarded or missed bases not previously touched."

*****

Central Washington offers the ultimate act of sportsmanship

by Graham Hays

Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky had never hit a home run in her career. Central Washington senior Mallory Holtman was already her school's career leader in them. But when a twist of fate and a torn knee ligament brought them face to face with each other and face to face with the end of their playing days, they combined on a home run trot that celebrated the collective human spirit far more than individual athletic achievement.

Both schools compete as Division II softball programs in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference. Neither has ever reached the NCAA tournament at the Division II level. But when they arrived for Saturday's conference doubleheader at Central Washington's 300-seat stadium in Ellensburg, a small town 100 miles and a mountain range removed from Seattle, the hosts resided one game behind the visitors at the top of the conference standings. As was the case at dozens of other diamonds across the map, two largely anonymous groups prepared to play the most meaningful games of their seasons.

It was a typical Saturday of softball in April, right down to a few overzealous fans heckling an easy target, the diminutive Tucholsky, when she came to the plate in the top of the second inning of the second game with two runners on base and the game still scoreless after Western Oregon's 8-1 win in the first game of the afternoon.

"I just remember trying to block them out," Tucholsky said of the hecklers. "The first pitch I took, it was a strike. And then I really don't remember where the home run pitch was at all; [I] just remember hitting it, and I knew it was out."

A part-time starter in the outfield throughout her four years, Tucholsky had been caught in a numbers game this season on a deep roster that entered the weekend hitting better than .280 and having won nine games in a row. Prior to the pitch she sent over the center-field fence, she had just three hits in 34 at-bats this season. And in that respect, her hitting heroics would have made for a pleasing, if familiar, story line on their own: an unsung player steps up in one of her final games and lifts her team's postseason chances.

But it was what happened after an overly excited Tucholsky missed first base on her home run trot and reversed direction to tag the bag that proved unforgettable.

"Sara is small -- she's like 5-2, really tiny," Western Oregon coach Pam Knox said. "So you would never think that she would hit a home run. The score was 0-0, and Sara hit a shot over center field. And I'm coaching third and I'm high-fiving the other two runners that came by -- then all of a sudden, I look up, and I'm like, 'Where's Sara?' And I look over, and she's in a heap beyond first base."

While she was doubling back to tag first base, Tucholsky's right knee gave out. The two runners who had been on base already had crossed home plate, leaving her the only offensive player on the field of play, even as she lay crumpled in the dirt a few feet from first base and a long way from home plate. First-base coach Shannon Prochaska -- Tucholsky's teammate for three seasons and the only voice she later remembered hearing in the ensuing conversation -- checked to see whether she could crawl back to the base under her own power.

As Knox explained, "It went through my mind, I thought, 'If I touch her, she's going to kill me.' It's her only home run in four years. I didn't want to take that from her, but at the same time, I was worried about her."

Umpires confirmed that the only option available under the rules was to replace Tucholsky at first base with a pinch runner and have the hit recorded as a two-run single instead of a three-run home run. Any assistance from coaches or trainers while she was an active runner would result in an out. So without any choice, Knox prepared to make the substitution, taking both the run and the memory from Tucholsky.

"And right then," Knox said, "I heard, 'Excuse me, would it be OK if we carried her around and she touched each bag?'"

The voice belonged to Holtman, a four-year starter who owns just about every major offensive record there is to claim in Central Washington's record book. She also is staring down a pair of knee surgeries as soon as the season ends. Her knees ache after every game, but having already used a redshirt season earlier in her career, and ready to move on to graduate school and coaching at Central, she put the operations on hold so as to avoid missing any of her final season. Now, with her own opportunity for a first postseason appearance very much hinging on the outcome of the game -- her final game at home -- she stepped up to help a player she knew only as an opponent for four years.

"Honestly, it's one of those things that I hope anyone would do it for me," Holtman said. "She hit the ball over her fence. She's a senior; it's her last year. … I don't know, it's just one of those things I guess that maybe because compared to everyone on the field at the time, I had been playing longer and knew we could touch her, it was my idea first. But I think anyone who knew that we could touch her would have offered to do it, just because it's the right thing to do. She was obviously in agony."

Holtman and shortstop Liz Wallace lifted Tucholsky off the ground and supported her weight between them as they began a slow trip around the bases, stopping at each one so Tucholsky's left foot could secure her passage onward. Even with Tucholsky feeling the pain of what trainers subsequently came to believe was a torn ACL (she was scheduled for tests to confirm the injury on Monday), the surreal quality of perhaps the longest and most crowded home run trot in the game's history hit all three players.

"We all started to laugh at one point, I think when we touched the first base," Holtman said. "I don't know what it looked like to observers, but it was kind of funny because Liz and I were carrying her on both sides and we'd get to a base and gently, barely tap her left foot, and we'd all of a sudden start to get the giggles a little bit."

Accompanied by a standing ovation from the fans, they finally reached home plate and passed the home run hitter into the arms of her own teammates.

Then Holtman and Wallace returned to their positions and tried to win the game.

Hollywood would have a difficult time deciding how such a script should end, whether to leave Tucholsky's home run as the decisive blow or reward the selfless actions of her opponents. Reality has less room for such philosophical quandaries. Central Washington did rally for two runs in the bottom of the second -- runs that might have tied the game had Knox been forced to replace Tucholsky -- but Western Oregon held on for a 4-2 win.

But unlike a movie, the credits didn't roll after the final out, and the story that continues has little to do with those final scores.

"It kept everything in perspective and the fact that we're never bigger than the game," Knox said of the experience. "It was such a lesson that we learned -- that it's not all about winning. And we forget that, because as coaches, we're always trying to get to the top. We forget that. But I will never, ever forget this moment. It's changed me, and I'm sure it's changed my players."

For her part, Holtman seems not altogether sure what all the fuss is about. She seems to genuinely believe that any player in her position on any field on any day would have done the same thing. Which helps explains why it did happen on that day and on that field.

And she appreciates the knowledge that while the results of Saturday's game and her senior season soon will fade into the dust and depth of old media guides and Internet archives, the story of what happened in her final game at home will live on far longer.

"I think that happening on Senior Day, it showed the character of our team," Holtman said. "Because granted I thought of it, but everyone else would have done it. It's something people will talk about for Senior Day. They won't talk about who got hits and what happened and who won; they'll talk about that. And it's kind of a nice way to go out, because it shows what our program is about and the kind of people we have here."

*****

To view the article on ESPN.com, follow this link:

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/columns/story?id=3372631

To read more of the writings of Graham Hays, follow this link:

http://search.espn.go.com/graham-hays/