Prospect’s articles around the world

Over the years, many of our original articles have been picked up and posted in many countries and on various web sites around the world—from Ireland, the United States and Canada to New Zealand.

 Here are a few examples (click on the highlighted areas to see the article):

• Our article on Soccer Sideline Etiquette for parents, utilized by the Chilliwack Youth Soccer Club in British Columbia.
• Michael’s article on Becoming a Better Soccer parent was picked up by the Cal South Soccer Association in California, U.S.A.
• The Canadian Hockey Parents Association asked to use one of our pieces for their web site.
• The NSCAA—the prestigious National Soccer Coaches Association of America also liked our articles.
• Closer to home, the Ontario Hockey Federation published our article on 15 traits to look forward in building your all-star or “rep” hockey team with real team players.
• The web site of the highly-respected international soccer coach Tony Waiters, World of Soccer, ran a number of our articles, including this one on "Doing the Right Things when Interacting with your Players - The "Checklist" for Youth Soccer Coaches".
• Our articles were picked up fron as far away as New Zealand, and localized for use with youth soccer teams.
• Australia is also home to one of our articles.
• Eight key qualities that coaches should strive to instill in all their players can be found on the National Alliance for Youth Sports  website.

We include this information simply to share with you that we hope the valuable—and very practical—tips we aim to share through our writing on youth sports will be considered by as many Clubs as possible. Children sometimes need to be pushed, always challenged, but also supported and nurtured to ensure that if they love sport, we—parents, coaches and administrators—don’t take that way from them.

A Coach with the Right Values

I was recently with a sports industry client in Arizona for a few days. While there, I met with a number of different groups of people, including some professional coaches, as I had been invited to address the subject of communication and how it can play a valuable role in various relationships.

One of the coaches on hand shared some research he did, and in his work cited the views of a well-known high-school coach in Maryland, a former NFL player by the name of Joe Ehrmann.

When I read this reference, the values put forth by this youth coach resonated with me personally because I share—and try to live, though not always successfully—those values. It also stood out because it sounded familiar. Somewhere in my memory bank I knew I’d read about this individual (Ehrmann) before.

I dug through my old paper filing system and discovered an article written back in 2004 by a gentleman by the name of Jeffrey Marx, a Pulitzer prize-winning writer. Marx wrote a book about Ehrmann called “The Season of Life”.

I encourage you to “Google” these names and read what you can about Ehrmann.

While I can’t do justice to his philosophy in a few words, the article I read should be mandatory reading for youth coaches in every sport around the world. In a winning—obsessed culture, this man tries to, as the article says, lead boys to become real men, based on values and principles—not the results of a particular game.

He stresses the importance of relationships, not just on a “team”, but in terms of how the young men he coaches interact with others—members of the opposite sex, parents, family members, the world around them.

He also focuses on how young people are fed into a culture of comparisons and competition, and how this can destroy the concept of humanity.

Again, I don’t want to miss important aspects of his approach to interacting with his players, so I encourage you to check this out for yourself. It’s powerful stuff. You don’t see this approach in youth sports every day.

Contact us regarding our seminars and webinars!

The articles we have developed and posted on this site will hopefully continue to provide useful tips and suggestions for coaches and administrators involved at all levels in youth sports.

For those Clubs operating where we are located, in the greater Toronto area, we continue to conduct workshops for youth coaches on how good communication in coaching can help build character and confidence in young athletes.

A number of Clubs have contacted us in recent weeks about our programs. These Clubs operate in other parts of the country or the United States. For those Clubs who understandably cannot afford to bring us in to conduct workshops in person, we can conduct webinars to cover the important content available in our in-person seminars.

In addition, we can work privately with Club personnel and/or their coaches through the “Skype” service.

If you have any questions at all, contact us at michael@prospectcommunications.com or at (905) 825-8078.

A lesson we can learn from a professional golfer

For some people, golf isn’t a true ‘sport”, though for many the legendary Arnold Palmer put that argument to rest decades ago.

Regardless, a recent act on the course by a professional golfer reminded us that doing the right thing, while exceedingly difficult at times, brings its own rewards.

England’s Brian Davis has never won a PGA Tour event. At the recent tour stop in South Carolina, he was involved in a sudden-death playoff with veteran Jim Furyk. On the first extra hole, Davis apparently, on his backswing, caused a small twig on the ground near his ball to move.

That is, unfortunately and perhaps unfairly, something that calls for a two-stroke penalty.

The thing is, the player pretty much has to “call it” on him or herself.

Davis thought he saw the twig move, so he called over an on-course official and the “slow motion” video replay confirmed what he thought he saw—movement.

He had indeed called a two-stroke penalty against himself, and he lost the tournament as a result—and about $400,000 in possible winnings.

Team sports would be turned upside down if suddenly we had soccer players saying to referees—“don’t call that a penalty—I was diving” or if baseball outfielders admitted they trapped a ball when the umpire ruled that they caught it.

I’m not suggesting a wholesale change in approach- I’m simply calling to mind that there are higher ideals that we can indeed aspire to in sports, even when we—and our own children—play in highly competitive environments

We all want to win and young people should train and work and do all the right things to improve their skills and play hard and well—but at the end of the day, winning isn’t everything.

Davis’ honesty touched the tournament organizers. That doesn’t make up for $400,000—or does it, in a much more important way?

Davis should long be remembered for his rather remarkable honesty. He set the bar too high for most of us, but it’s good to know there is still a bar.

Youth soccer players too often act like the pros

Soccer is a sport that seems to engender on-field reactions that you don’t typically see in other sports.

Diving, for one—though those of us familiar with hockey know it can happen on the ice, too.

But it’s more in the overt demonstrative displays that separate the sport from most others. It was interesting to note in a recent hockey broadcast that the commentators made a point of referencing a very slight gesture by Toronto Maple Leaf forward Phil Kessel. Kessel had passed the puck to a teammate, and when his line-mate also passed the puck rather than take a clear shot on goal, Kessel reacted with a gesture that clearly showed he felt his colleague should have taken a shot instead of passed.

Again, this was a very subtle reaction, not likely picked up by most spectators- only by the TV cameras on the replay.

That kind of action—magnified several times—is, sadly, commonplace in soccer, the “beautiful” game which would be much more beautiful without certain kinds of displays.

This includes:

 all-too-frequent arguing by players on-field over virtually every call by the referee

 young players with their hands up in the air disputing those calls

 players overtly showing their displeasure when a teammate makes what they consider to be a bad pass

 the aforementioned intentional diving, trying to deceive the referee

Other than the diving (and even then it is comparably infrequent), you rarely if ever see this kind of bickering between teammates in hockey, where the “code” of in-game behaviour seems quite different.

Visit any local soccer pitch. There are too many young soccer players who yap at the referees, point out their teammates’ errors and sometimes even yell at parents on the sideline.

I’m not sure when all this behaviour started, but youth coaches have a responsibility to not only teach and demonstrate the soccer skills necessary to compete, enjoy and succeed in the sport. They—and we parents—bear a responsibility to teach appropriate on-field behaviour to youngsters who emulate the “pros”—regardless of how poorly the pros act.

Are you an inspirational youth coach? 10 things to consider

Can anything be more important than having been a truly positive life influence on those with whom you interact?

In the context of sports, and particularly in the world of high-pressure youth sports, coaches have an opportunity—virtually every day—to create a lasting memory in the minds of the young athletes they are there to lead and teach.

Players—young and old—have responsibilities to take a lead in their own development, of course, if they are a serious athlete and expect to earn and keep a position on a highly competitive team. But you, as coach, have a huge influence.

Moreover, by your actions and behaviour every day, you determine what your legacy will be in the minds of those you coach.

You need only ask yourself: How do I want to be thought of—and remembered—20 years from now by those I coached?

Here are ten things to consider in determining whether you are the kind of coach and individual your players will look back on with fondness and respect. I believe this applies whether you coach them as 10 year-olds or as they are heading toward a possible future in the sport. Regardless, you should behave in a manner that will see them remember you as an inspiring presence in their lives:

1. Whether a player is a “star” on your team or someone who plays infrequently, does every player know they are important to the team?

2. Do you set joint—and mutual—expectations early on with your players, so there is less chance of misunderstanding later?

3. Are you always the adult in the relationship? Do you consistently model behaviour that you would be proud to see in your players?

4. How often do you say things in the heat of the moment that you can’t take back—and will never be forgotten by the young person you coach?

5. Do you take the time to find out what motivates each of your players, and what makes them love the sport/game they play?

6. Do you yell constantly about mistakes, or instead, create an environment where hard-working players aren’t afraid to try things and make mistakes in order to get better?

7. Do you help to build your players’ confidence, or do you do things to undermine it?

8. How much time do you spend getting to know your players as individuals?

9. Do you always have the answers, or are you open to ideas from your players? Will your players look back and say you were a great listener?

10. Are you consistent in your accountability system and your approach to discipline, or do you have a “star” system? Do certain players not face consequences?

By your actions, you are writing the script today for how those youngsters will remember you years down the road.

Being a flawed sports parent has helped me to help others

One of the reasons that I am comfortable writing on—and hosting seminars—on the subject of youth sports is my own flawed experience as a sports “dad” for the past 25 years.

My mistakes in my interactions with my own children have been frequent, and I acknowledge those failures. My actions and words were sometimes less than what should have been, and on occasion I’ve even slipped into that murky area of being less than proud of my own public behaviour as a dad and an erstwhile recreational youth (in my case, baseball) coach.

I state this not with pride but rather with a great deal of genuine regret and humility. I have always tried to follow some important, timeless values that I hold in my heart and hoped to display to my own kids and any young people I coached. However, “human error” sometimes reared its head and I failed—in thought, words or action.

I hesitate to say I “learned” my lessons, because if I had, I would not still be flawed. But like many others, I constantly try to be better at it, and in recent years have shared my own experiences as part of attempting to help other parents and coaches along the way.

So, when I write about the way things “ought to be” in youth sports, I come from a place filled with my own mistakes.

I have also spent many hours over the past twenty years literally standing back, away from the ice, field and court, to observe the behaviour of coaches, fellow parents and sport administrators around me.

These countless experiences makes my recommendations and suggestions all the more concrete, practical and—hopefully—effective.

Here are five “little” things that can make a big difference for you as a parent:

1. As a parent-spectator, if you know you are prone to falling off the wagon (i.e. yelling at referees, players or other parents, for example) avoid temptation. Sit off to the side, away from others. If there are fellow parents who bring out the worst in you, don’t be unfriendly, but don’t engage them. If you do engage in conversation, do it with people you know who are positive and will help keep you on track.

2. Ask yourself: will I be OK later with what I’m saying or how I’m behaving right now? If my words/actions come back to me later, will I be able to justify or defend my behaviour to myself or to others?

3. If you are upset with or don’t agree with a coach’s decision (who’s starting, playing time, substitution and/or tactical choices) don’t confront the coach right after the game. Give yourself 24 hours to cool down. Generally, things feel better by then. If not, ask for a private meeting where you can discuss your concerns quietly.

4. Make the care ride home with your son or daughter enjoyable. Don’t start berating your son/daughter as soon as they get in the car. If you are annoyed by what happened at the game, discuss other things instead. Young players generally know how they played, and if they weren’t at their best, don’t need to be reminded by their mom or dad.

5. Let your child decide if they even want to talk about the game. If they don’t initiate a conversation about it, great. Focus on other things. If they do, let them speak and air their thoughts without judgment.